What does it mean to matter? I’ve pondered this question for most of my teenage years and I still don’t have a correct answer… But I believe there is a reason as to why I don’t and neither to does anyone else. I also believe that there is not a correct answer but rather multiple answers. Mattering to me means leading myself and the ones that I love to a better, more fruitful life. Fruitful in the things that we have, the way that we interact with others, and, ultimately, the way that we love. In the book, “Dare to Matter,” Jordan had a different definition of what it means to matter. On the bottom of page 16, Jordan says “the main difference between being and mattering is whether we actively participate in the ongoing work of creation by owning our uniqueness.” In essence, Jordan is saying that in order to matter, we should embrace what makes us unique. When I think of truly influential people, my mind immediately goes towards the most unique people. I think of my friend Aaron, who has a very, shall I say, different sense of humor. It is unlike anyone I have ever met, and I would say that he makes a huge impact on the people around him. Right now, he is dealing with cancer and instead of being depressed and thinking about how horrible his situation is, he looks towards other people and is always trying to make them laugh in his own, special way. He is a great example of Jordan’s definition of mattering. Another piece of insight that I gained while reading “Dare to Matter” was that some of the most influential people probably don’t feel like they were making an influence on this world. Take Pope Saint John Paul II, for instance. As a catholic, he is a huge influence to me and everyone who saw him. He probably never thought that he was a person who changed the lives of others, rather he was just living his life to the best of his ability. He is another role model of mine in his humble nature. This is one of the steps that I am trying to take towards living a life that matters. I believe that by living a humble life and focusing on how you can be the best version of yourself, you can really matter. I also think that this ties into the quote from “Dare to Matter” that spoke about genuine uniqueness. In these times of isolation and uncertainty due to the pandemic, it is most important to have something to work towards or look forwards to. On page 228, Jordan talks about what feeds us and keeps us fighting for something in life. “Part of what keeps us in the fight to make a difference is the fight itself.” I interpreted this to mean that one of the things that keeps us motivated to do good in life is the realization that this world is struggling. If we can realize that this world is imperfect in so many ways and it can be improved, then we need to find the strength to do something about it. I know I have been given the gifts, talents, and resources to make an impact on this world, and I know that by realizing this, I can take the first step to find motivation towards living a life that matters. https://spiritualityhealth.com/reviews/books/2019/05/10/book-review-dare-to-matter
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In my life, I have faced many instances of ambiguity. The most prominent moments that I can think of are when I was younger. Growing up, my family did not have a whole lot of material possessions. We were not poor, but we were also not comfortable in a financial sense. I remember specific times when we could not get the presents that we wanted or even celebrate birthdays with a cake. As a young toddler, this was emotionally exhausting for me. I didn’t realize the situation that my family was in, I just wanted what I wanted. Another time that I can barely remember was when we had to go to a place that supplied food for my family. I would’ve been too young to know what was happening at the time, but I still made my parents explain it to me. They said that we just needed a little help. I didn’t know it at the time, but this ambiguity was shaping who I would become in the future.
These instances of not being financially stable didn’t happen all of the time but when they did, it was a family effort to try to make things better for ourselves. We would conserve electricity and buy cheaper things. We wouldn’t get luxurious presents and we lived quite a simple life. But we learned to appreciate the small things in life, such as the love of our family, our home, the food we can eat, our faith, and so much more. Growing up in an ambiguous situation taught me to appreciate everything about my life on a whole different level and to not take things for granted. Not only can ambiguity teach life lessons, but it also plays a large role in effective leadership. Similar to how ambiguity at a young age in my life hardened me and taught to appreciate the little things, ambiguity can bring out the best in other people. I personally see ambiguity helping effective leaders grow in two different ways. The first way is when ambiguity comes about naturally and no one expects it. The second way is when leaders specifically place ambiguity in someone else’s path to bring the good out of him or her. The first situation that I described happens the most often in my opinion. Hardship comes about and a leader is forced to come out of his or her “shell” and take the challenge on. “Pressure creates diamonds” is an accurate phrase that can be applied to this situation. A specific situation in my life that I relate to is how I work better under stress. The ambiguity of a stressful situation causes me to work harder and faster. The second situation doesn’t happen as often as the first. Only skilled and effective leaders know how to put this into action. A time that I can think of is when my high school pre calc teacher gave me extra problems to work on because I wasn’t being challenged hard enough in her class. She knew that I needed ambiguity in the course in order to actually learn something and get something out of the class. She is an excellent example of how an effective leader can use ambiguity to bring the best out in people.
I feel that I need to be the most creative when I play soccer. Whether it be playing on the field or leading the team to victory, the sport requires an immense amount of creativity in order to dominate other teams. One time that jumps out at me was three years ago when my team was preparing for an international tournament in Las Vegas.
We had been training and playing together for about five months now and we were playing well, but something didn’t seem to be clicking. The team moral was good and usually once a week we would have an amazing practice and feel confident about the upcoming tournament. But I think that all of us knew that it would take something bigger in order to show well at this competition. My coach also realized this, so, one day at practice he sat us down and we talked the whole practice. He said that we would be trying something new and this would allow for more creativity in the attacking third of our formation. (I was playing forward at the time). It wasn’t that I had no creativity before this, it was just that it wasn’t a key component of my game. But learning that this new skill of being creative would be implemented into our play gave me confidence to try some new things out. The practices from then on seemed to change a little. We tried new drills and during our scrimmages, I felt impowered to try different moves and tricks that I had never done before. I felt that I was truly being creative in our team’s different approach to the game. Later on, when the time came for the tournament to be played, our team was a whole different force to be reckoned with. The attacking players felt a resounding confidence to create different opportunities towards goal and it definitely showed. We ended up making it to the final, beating a team from Scotland 4-0 along the way. I would say that all of this was thanks to my coach for allowing the game to be played in a more creative way. I think this story directly shows the importance of creativity in leadership. If my coach had not sat my team down to talk about a different style of play that we would be implementing, my team would have never had the chance to create new opportunities and we surely would have never done so well at the tournament. My coach sparked an innovation in all of us players that, in return, produced immeasurable outcomes that would affect me to this day. I have always understood that approaching things from a different angle was important, but I never was able to see this in action until my coach helped me and my team. He allowed each of his players to be leaders in their own way.
Listening is one of the most important forms of communication. Unfortunately, the art is not practiced as frequently as it should be. Furthermore, people who do not know how to listen, or were never taught, believe that they listen well. Sadly, listening is not something that is inherited but rather it is a skill that has to be practiced and worked on.
Reflecting on my own life, I would say that I am blessed to have parents who have taught me how to listen properly. In fact, the last time that I felt listened to was actually yesterday when I asked for some advice on politics. I told them how I think I understand how I can formulate my own opinion, but I wanted some more pointers on how to not let myself be influenced by biased media sources. The differences that I noticed in my parents when they are listening to me vs. when other people are listening to me are very noticeable. They have eye contact and polite body language, they nod and respond when they need to, and they care about everything that I have to say. There is always a huge difference when I talk with someone else and when I talk with my parents. Not only is listening an important skill in offering advice, but it also a vital skill in effective leadership. In my opinion, listening is one of the “building blocks” of effective leadership. One time I listened well and exhibited great leadership was just recently when I attempted to mediate a problem between two friends of mine. I listened to both sides of the story and took everything that both parties said seriously. The most challenging part of listening is when I want to formulate my own opinions when I disagree with something. I think that this should not happen while effective listening. You must dwell on things that they say with an open mind and then after they have finished speaking, then you can formulate your own opinion. In this way, you can really listen to everything that the person has to say and leave biases out of the conversation. An example of leaving biases out of effective listening can be seen today in politics. If we look at the first debate, we saw that both parties had troubles getting their points across to the public. The viewers of both political parties can agree that neither candidate won because neither candidate exhibited effective listening and effective leadership. A leader is supposed take everyone’s opinions into account and then seek to relay the truth to followers. One final reason why good listening is important for effective leadership is because without proper listening, good relationships cannot be formed between the leader and the followers. Imagine if you approached your boss and he/she kept interrupting you and the pints that you’re trying to make. You would not appreciate it and you might even ponder the idea of quitting. If there is not a good relationship between a leader and his/her followers, then a group cannot succeed. Just recently, I conducted an interview with an acquaintance of mine. But it wasn’t the kind of interview that most people are informed of. It was an empathy interview. The difference between a regular interview and an empathy interview is that in a regular interview, the interviewer doesn’t care about what the other person is feeling and doesn’t necessarily care about the body language of a person. In an empathy interview, it is much more applied and requires more focus. The interviewer must focus on non-verbal cues, different quotes, the excitement that can be sensed when talking about a certain topic, along with so much more. Might I say, it was a different experience, but intensely informative.
One of the most important things while conducting an empathy interview is to focus on the person’s non-verbal cues. When they are excited about something, usually their eyes will light up or the tone of their voice fluctuates. When they are upset about something, they will cross their arms, or their eyebrows might furrow. Regardless of what it is, it is not going to be a huge signal. Usually it is indistinguishable and hard to notice from how someone normally talks. While I was conducting my interview, I found myself on the edge of my seat, trying to find a difference in how the other person carried themselves while they were talking. It was difficult but necessary. There is an innate value in using empathy in order to relate to a person. In one way, it allows you to see where someone is coming from and allows you to feel their pain and sadness when it is occurring. In this way, empathy plays a huge role in helping someone discover a solution to a problem at hand, similar to how people design products. In another way, empathy can help to see when a person is happy or excited about something. This is applicable when inventing something for the pleasure of another. If you use empathy when thinking about your end-user, you can create something that makes them happy and excited every time they use it. During my interview, I tried to find the meaning behind some of the other person’s non-verbal cues. One thing they mentioned about their college experience – and I’m sure that most college freshman can relate to this – is that moving into college was a struggle. When I prompted her to explain, her shoulders seemed to droop a little and her voice seemed to drop in pitch. She explained that she didn’t like the feeling of not knowing when we were going to move into college because of COVID and not knowing if we would stay. This helped me see that my interviewee had a slight fear of not being accepted into the UNO community because of the struggles due to COVID. I found out all this information and more simply by asking the question “why?” I feel like this is one of the most important questions when conducting an empathy interview. It is an open-ended question that forces the person talking to explain what they meant, and it leaves the door open for pretty much anything that might be on their mind. This will be something that I can keep in mind for the future of conducting empathy interviews. MRI machines became commercially available in the 1980’s and have been used for imaging of various internal structures, like soft tissues and the brain. They were invented in order to create an easy way to accurately scan the human body. Throughout the history of the MRI machine, many upgrades have been made in order to make the user’s experience more enjoyable. But it wasn’t until I watched Doug Dietz that I realized there was a serious issue when it came to children using MRI machines.
Doug presented the facts and situations, but it shouldn’t have taken this long for someone to realize that this was a problem. The rate of sedation for kids using MRI machines was incredibly high. Not only that, but kids left the hospital scarred for life and never wanted to come back. The original creators got a lot of things right when they invented MRI machines, but they left one vital thought process out: empathy. Empathy was critical in the process to create MRI machines in order to make the best possible experience for the user. In Doug Dietz’s case, the users were children that feared the appearance of MRI’s. Doug saw this and thought to make them appear more child friendly. If it weren’t for Doug’s realization and empathy, kids would still dread going in to get a scan from an MRI. I think we can all learn a lesson from Doug’s use of empathy. He first designed MRI scanners with only the manufacturing cost in mind. He realized that kids were experiencing trauma because of this design so he had to imagine and empathize with the children in order to find what they would like. Using his creativity, time, and effort, he designed something for the benefit of others. One way to truly empathize with the user is to be in the same environment as them. By placing yourself in their shoes, you can understand their day-to-day routine and better design a product that will help them in their daily lives. With Doug, I can imagine that it would’ve been a little more difficult for him to imagine being scared of an MRI machine. He must’ve had to dig deep into his heart and test his skills of empathizing in order to place himself in the shoes of a child about to get an MRI. Placing yourself in the environment of the end-user and empathy are inseparable attributes and work hand in hand with one another in order to produce some of the best products. Another approach that Doug might’ve used was imagining himself as if he didn’t know a thing about MRI machines. In doing this, he could realize that they looked like big scary machines that might hurt a child if they didn’t know what was going on. He might’ve imagined being sedated and the effects of sedation. He would’ve had to imagine being the child’s parent and thinking about how he could make the process smoother for the family. All of these things had to be taken into account to produce something as thoughtful as what Doug did for children across the world. “Trust is the foundation of real teamwork.” In Patrick Lencioni’s The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, the base for any great team is trust. The main character, Kathryn, arrives at DecisionTech with only one goal in mind: create a culture of trust. In this way, she plans to rebuild this dysfunctional team of superstars into a well-oiled machine, focused only on succeeding together.
In the earlier chapters of the story, it is clear that the team members don’t necessarily trust each other. It isn’t that they go behind each other’s backs and lie to each other, but rather they don’t trust each member with their own specific role in the company. A similar problem tends to arise in groups such as DecisionTech. Team members know that they specialize in one thing in particular and then they end up not letting anyone offer aid to them because of a lack of trust. One of the biggest things that a leader can do in this common situation is to address problems as a group, rather than approaching individual members. This way, everyone can understand what the problem at hand may be and everyone can offer input. Kathryn did a great job of this in the story whenever there were group meetings. Another dilemma that leaders might face is the problem of being able to determine if there is a lack of trust among team members. After reading The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, I can tell that there are a lot of red flags when it comes to finding distrust, but the biggest one would be communication. Not everyone has great communication skills, but when someone has been taught proper oratory skills and still feels the need to hide things from the group, some problems and distrust may arise. In the story, Mikey told Kathryn after the first day of the first offsite that she would not share with the group. “No, I’m serious. They aren’t going to hear from me” (Lencioni 60). This was a huge red flag that Kathryn noticed and acted on almost immediately. One thing that has probably been drilled into our heads ever since we were kids is that you can get more things done by working together as a team. As leaders, it’s our job to find different ways to get team members to develop a shared responsibility for reaching common goals. There are many different that a leader could go about this and there is never a right or wrong answer. I feel that if it works then it is right. If I was given the task to get team members on the same page, I think I would constantly remind them of what the end goal is, similar to what Kathryn did at DecisionTech. If a team doesn’t have a goal to work towards, then there won’t be calculated motivation towards anything important. One final thing that should never be overlooked as a leader is to form personal relationships with all of your team members. If you can get to know who they are a person, you can understand better how they would work with others. For instance, someone might be more introverted than another so it would be good to ask that person what he/she thinks about a problem so that the more extroverted people don’t drown out that person’s potentially great ideas. As mentioned in the story, nothing about teamwork is very complicated or hard, it is just a matter of first building a culture of trust and then finding what works best for the team. This past weekend, I sent my coach an email thanking him for all that he has taught me in soccer and in life. At first, I thought that I would simply write a quick thank you and call it good, but it turned into so much more than that. Writing this thank you has opened up my eyes to see the true impact that appreciation can have on someone.
I started off by saying thank you for always pushing me to do my best and for teaching me about soccer. And then I thought to myself that I might as well take this assignment more seriously. I thanked him for the lessons that he has taught me in life and for helping me see the kind of player that I actually was. As I continued writing, I realized that this I was not only being kind to my coach, but also being kind to myself. Re-reading my email helped me see how far I’ve come in my soccer career and leadership skills. I can imagine how he would read the email and feel empowered to keep coaching in the same way that he has been, touching the lives of all the other players that he coaches. In conclusion, I think I got just as much out of it while writing than my coach will get out of it while reading. Appreciation is such a simple, yet powerful tool as a leader. When people feel appreciated, they feel safe and free to do their best work. It is also energizing to someone when they receive a thank you. On the contrary, when someone’s value feels at risk, the worry of not doing a good job becomes preoccupying, which can drain and divert attention needed for creative, productive work. Oddly enough, I think most of us are experienced in displaying negative emotions in this day and age. We are constantly hearing slander and negative comments in politics and religion and we have been turned numb to the effects that this can have on someone. This is why empathy plays an effective role in being a great leader. If you can feel what another person feels when you detract about them or insult them, you can realize that it is something that should never be enforced on another person. As a leader, it should be your first priority to make everyone in the group feel as though they belong and feel as if they matter. It is crucial that everyone feels safe so that the most productive work can be brought forward. Using empathy, a leader can envision what it would be like in other people’s “shoes” and understand what they would want to hear. Bottom line is that no one likes to be criticized and everyone likes to positive affirmation. An example of a great leader is someone who can be specific when complimenting someone. The more a leader notices what is most meaningful to a person, the greater of an impact that leader is going to make on them. Design Thinking, written by Peter Rowe, describes a way of problem-solving that puts the user’s needs above anything else. The first step in the five-step process is to empathize with the user. Empathy is absolutely critical in the design process because it allows us to understand the user’s needs and wants, thus helping improve our decision making and impacting the final product for the better. Without empathy, the final product would not be for the use of others, but rather for our own personal enjoyment.
One way to truly empathize with the user is to be in the same environment as them. By placing yourself in their shoes, you can understand their day-to-day routine and better design a product that will help them in their daily lives. Design Thinking is most commonly used in group projects because it heavily relies on ideas from brainstorming sessions. One of the reasons why the brainstorming step in Design Thinking is so effective is because there are no right or wrong answers. It allows everyone in the group to partake in the discussion. After personally trying this step out a few times, I noticed that positive reinforcement really allows people to step out of their comfort zone. I think this is one of the secrets to maintaining momentum on big group projects. By refraining from a negative and detractive atmosphere, the group members won’t be afraid to have their ideas shot down. In addition to positive reinforcement, another huge aspect of success is communication. Effective communication is absolutely vital to keep group members on the same page and to keep the process moving forward. Something I like to tell myself is that you can never be over- communicative when it comes to wondering if something isn’t very important. One problem that I know I’ve run into many times is rejecting ideas. I have been on the giving and receiving end of things, and it is not desirable to be on any side. One of the toughest things to do when your idea is rejected is to simply say “okay” and move on with your life. It is very important to set aside your ego for the good of the group and final product. I struggle with this concept and, even though I am getting better at it, I have a long way to go. One trick I like to use whenever I think I’m right is asking myself if it is really worth it. Is it really worth it to be right about something small and risk making a group member ticked at you for the rest of the project? Is it worth it to think I should be in command of things when there might be someone more fitted for the job? I would dare to say that most of the time, it is, in fact, not worth it. Humility is one of the hardest things to do proficiently, but I think it is one of most important traits to have as a leader. Humble leaders create humble followers, which create humble beginnings... which is where some of the most successful products in the world have come from.
Imagine some of the greatest musical minds of their respective generations come to a room to discuss the versatility of the electric guitar and also how they influenced the era of Rock. Well, you don’t have to imagine because that is exactly what happened in the movie It Might Get Loud. All jokes aside, these men truly stood out among others as leaders of their generations. Each possessed different qualities that, when brought together, shaped the history of Rock as we know it.
Creativity is an essential part of being a strong leader and all three of these artists certainly possessed this quality. Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin showed his creativity in coming up with new chord progressions that laid a foundation for guitarists ahead of him. The Edge of U2 used the electric guitar and amplifier in a new way to produce different, never-before-heard sounds. Jack White of the White Stripes brought a natural sound and vibe to his music, laying a foundation for future generations. All three of these artists had to be creative in order to stand out in a crowd of guitarists. But there are plenty of other creative minds that don’t get the same recognition as these men. One of the differences between Page, The Edge, and White and other artists that aren’t as well recognized is that they were motivated and passionate about what they did. Passion and motivation are two important elements that are necessary for leadership. Anyone can create a tune but the ones who are passionate and care about their impact on music will stop at nothing to make sure their art is heard. Page, the Edge, and White were all creative minds but also had a drive to make themselves heard. They made their music matter. This is why they are seen as some of the most influential people of their time. Diligence is an element of leadership that goes hand in hand with passion and motivation. It is the driving force behind most of the things that we take for granted. Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin made bluesy chords a part of rock. He was diligent in that he always made sure that his style of music flourished in the song he made. All the countless hours behind the scenes made him the amazing musician that he was. The Edge had to diligent when figuring out the new technology of the electric guitar. Jack White was also diligent for his love of making his music sound the most natural he could. The scene where he taught his son to sing and play the piano really displayed his diligence. Trust is another vital part of being a leader. One of the duties of a leader is being able to trust and respect the people that you work with. If you don’t trust someone, then they never even have a chance at being a productive part of your team, or in this case, band. If Page, The Edge, or White didn’t trust the members of their band with all their innovative ideas, then for starters, the band couldn’t have existed. The music would’ve never been made. This is accurate for all kinds of music and even ways of life. For music specifically, there are many different parts in the process of creating a song. If one of those parts is not given the role it deserves, then a song cannot be produced. Page, The Edge, and White had to be trusting men for any of us to have heard about them. Trust not only plays an important role in the making of music, but also in life. Relationships could not exist, families would be ruined, and life would not be as fruitful. When watching the movie, it occurred to me how some of the strongest leaders have to be the most vulnerable. Take Ghandi, for instance. He put his full trust in his followers that they would be interested in his teachings and listen to him. If he didn’t trust, he would not be such an important figure in religion. Another example from the movie would be Jimmy Page. He had to fully trust his audience that they would find his innovations to be interesting and entertaining. Without his fans, he would be nobody. He risked being made fun of and being the mockery of his time in order to make it big. The musicians in It Might Get Loud truly had to be some of the most trusting people in order for their gifts to be heard. Not only were Page, The Edge, and White great leaders and musicians, but they made sure that their contributions to rock mattered. I believe that without them, rock would be entirely different. This is one of the definitions of what is means to matter, in my opinion. If you were somehow removed from this world, what would be different? Would your disappearance change the lives of the people around you? How have you made yourself known? These questions can help us better understand what it means to matter. In short, everyone matters to someone. But some people’s absence would impact the world greater than others’ absence. Similar to gauging your own self-worth, I feel that it is very difficult to know how much you matter. Another word that should be used is impact. The mark of a true leader is someone who leaves a huge impact on others when they leave this world. After watching It Might Get Loud, I would say that Page, The Edge, and White are definitely making an impact - on the world around them, on the formation of music, and on the people they come in contact with. The changed the way that rock sounded using the electric guitar to their advantage and people followed in their footsteps, they created new and different sounds that can still be heard today, and they touched the lives of everyone who heard their music. All three of them are prime examples of what it means to matter.
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